Mirroring in sales often gets a bad rap.

Images of slick salespeople mimicking every word and gesture of their prospects come to mind, conjuring up feelings of inauthenticity and manipulation.

We've seen it in movies.

We've seen it popularized by famous negotiators like Chris Voss in "Never Split the difference".

But does mirroring work? Or is it just bad for your reputation?

Here's the nuance few explain.

Mirroring isn't about imitation. It's About Connection.

Here's how to use it the right way.

Build Rapport, don't become an Imitation Dummy

In "The Unsold Mindset" authors Colin Coggins and Garrett Brown explain that mirroring isn't about mimicking someone; it's about building rapport through genuine responsiveness.

It's about being socially aware and picking up on subtle cues to create a comfortable and trusting environment.

Think of it as a dance where you move in sync with your partner, not by copying them blindly, but by responding to their lead.

How to Mirror Effectively

Remember, mirroring is not about a checklist of actions. It's about mindful awareness and genuine response. Here are some tips for effective mirroring:

• Focus on understanding:

  Pay attention not just to words, but also to energy shifts, tone of voice, and overall body language. This helps you tailor your responses and build a deeper connection.

  Nods, word repetitions and body movement should be used to convey your attention and understanding, not as a mechanical means for faux rapport.

• Be authentic

  Don't force mirroring. It should feel natural and arise from genuine interest in the conversation. Excessive mirroring can backfire and appear inauthentic.

  You can all think of the sales person who overused this on you, right?
  How did it make you feel? I am guessing, awkward!

• Use mirroring to guide, not manipulate

  Mirroring can indeed be used to manipulate by good operators, such as spies.

  However, this will often lead to mistrust later, if the target figures it out.

  The foundation of trust built through mirroring can be used to guide the conversation towards mutually beneficial solutions, not manipulate the prospect into a specific outcome.

  

  
  

When Mirroring is Done Right

Mirroring does work, when done genuinely! But we have to ensure its not forced, as disingenuity is easy to pick up on.

When done right, you'll see mirroring benefit you in multiple ways including:

Increased comfort and rapport

People naturally feel more at ease and understood when they feel heard and acknowledged. Mirroring demonstrates attentiveness and creates a safe space for open communication.

Enhanced trust

Genuine mirroring fosters a sense of trust. It shows that you're paying attention and genuinely interested in what they have to say.

Tilting your head slightly and leaning into a conversation is a good way to mirror and create this rapport.

Improved communication

By subtly mirroring communication style (e.g., pace, tone), you can subconsciously guide the conversation and ensure your message resonates with the prospect.

Mirroring, when used ethically and authentically, is a powerful tool for building rapport, trust, and ultimately, successful sales relationships.

If you try to force it, it will almost certainly backfire.

So, ditch the manipulative stereotypes and embrace the power of genuine connection in your sales interactions.