We've all seen them: the movie heroes who shrug off pain, the stoic executives who never show weakness, the lone wolf entrepreneurs who "grind" 24/7.

These are the supposed pillars of toughness, the images bombarding us from every corner. But in his book "Do Hard Things," Steve Magness argues that this portrayal is not just inaccurate, it's downright harmful.

Myth #1: Toughness is about brute force.

The "bulldozer" approach to challenges might work in the short term, but it's a recipe for burnout and missed opportunities for growth. True toughness, Magness suggests, lies in strategic action, not blind force. It's about adapting, learning, and making informed decisions, even when faced with discomfort.

Myth #2: Toughness means hiding your emotions.

Bottling up emotions might seem like the "tough" thing to do, but it's actually a recipe for disaster. Ignoring your feelings leads to poor decision-making and hampers your ability to connect with others. Real toughness involves acknowledging your feelings and using them as a source of information and motivation, not letting them control you.

Myth #3: Toughness is a solo act.

Sure, some challenges require individual effort, but true strength often lies in connection and collaboration. Asking for help is not a sign of weakness; it's a sign of intelligence and self-awareness. Surrounding yourself with supportive people who believe in you and challenge you is crucial for building long-term resilience.

So, if the traditional "tough guy" image isn't the answer, what is? Magness proposes a new definition of toughness:

Toughness is the ability to confront reality head-on, navigate uncertainty, and persist in the face of adversity.

It's about embracing challenges with a growth mindset, adapting to circumstances, and learning from setbacks. It's about having the courage to be vulnerable and seek support when needed.

By shedding the outdated and harmful myths of toughness, we can embark on a journey of genuine growth and resilience – a journey that is not just about surviving hardship, but about thriving in the face of it.